8 lbs 7ozs

I have been majorly slacking again. Anyone close to me knows I have been going through some serious medical issues with a very close family member. Between the mix of stress and fear that I might give out identifying information on said person, I have purposely not written in a while. The last thing in the world I want to do is inadvertently hurt someone I care about by over sharing on a public media. But this is a conversation I feel needs to be shared.

Our two youngest girls are at that beautiful and terrifying “Junior High” age. The age that your body and thoughts change with the breeze. The age when most kids don’t know themselves well enough to defend who they are. The age that emotions are out of control. The age that kids are the meanest.

The girls are Irish twins, so they are in the same grade but oh so very different. The older one is just like her father; tall, lanky, athletic, preppy, total people person. The younger girl is more like me; short, stalky, weird, artistic, socially awkward.

The other morning on the drive to school the younger one was telling me about some issues she was having with other students. Others were constantly calling her a “Fag” or a “Dike” and she wanted to know what to identify as. I didn’t hesitate. “Water” was my answer. Of course she didn’t understand at first. She tried to explain what transgender meant, maybe thinking I didn’t know the term. I shook my head and began my explanation.

The human body is 70% water, which means the majority of a person is liquid. That makes a human being a fluid, and that is exactly what we all are. Water starts as rain, it falls to the ground, runs to the stream, diverts into a river, flows to the ocean, freezes to the icecaps, later thaws or evaporates and then starts the process again. Each form of water is very different and has a different label but it never stops being water. That means never stop being you. If you want short hair and men’s cargo pants, wear it. If you wake up one morning feeling girlie, wear a dress and paint your nails. There is nothing in the world that is constant so a person shouldn’t have to be either.

I don’t have one favorite food. I eat what I crave that day. I don’t have one favorite song. I listen to all types of music (somethings in the same playlist) I don’t have one favorite color. I see beauty in everything. I don’t read the same book over and over again (okay I do if it is a good one) I constantly expand my library. I refuse to be labeled. And above all, refuse to let anyone tell me I have to fit in to someone else’s pre-decided checkbox. My deepest wish is that she never feels like she has to conform to someone else’s label either.

Uncle Hunter weighed 156lb at time of death. After cremation his ashes weighed 8lbs 7ozs. That means less than 10% of his body was “solid”matter. The other 94.23% was in constant state of change and motion. So please, constantly change! Encourage others to change. Don’t ever think that you have to decide today WHO you will be the rest of your life. Love who you love. Think what you think. Do what makes you happy. Harm none and do what ye will.

Before leaving the truck, she smiled and said for the first time ever “it feels so weird to just be happy” She blew me a kiss and headed into the school with her head high and her back straight. My heart imploded at that moment. God, I love that girl so much. I hope someday she loves herself as much as I love her.


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